Happy 2011!!!
I have been following Christie's blog for several years. http://www.keirajoy07.blogspot.com/
I have been following Christie's blog for several years. http://www.keirajoy07.blogspot.com/
I was involved in helping bring Keira home. I participated in her idea of No Spend September. And now....I am on board again. My weight loss story is a long one. I have seriously lost over 200 pounds in my life. I am not a naturally thin person. But I have been thin many times in my life. Sad to say this is not one of those times. I weight 180 pounds now, the heaviest I have ever been.
The first time I lost a significant amount of weight was my senior year in college. I was going through my first and hopefully only period of serious depression. Looking back on it, I think I just was nervous about graduating and not being in a relationship. I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life and I had always dreamed of getting married an having kids. That was what I really wanted to do. I had spent a few years living in a sorority house (Delta Delta Delta) at the University of Southern California. The college pounds had crept on and I didn't like it. I joined Diet Center. I was so obsessed with it. When I decide to do something, I do it ALL the way. I and all black or white. Extreme. The diet was very extreme, about 900 calories a day. I would get up every single morning at 5 am and drive about 25 minutes to get weighed in. I lost about 45 pounds in a few short months. I was a size 2. Not a realistic weight for me. Upon graduating from college, I went on a cruise in the Mexican Riviera with my mom and my grandmother. I met the man of my dreams on the ship. He was a young disc jockey working for Sitmar Cruises at the time. It was really love at first sight. The cruise that I was on was his last cruise. He was living in LA as did I. We became inseparable as we started a new life together. We were engaged in 2 years and married in 1989, After we got off the cruise, I was happy. I started to eat more like a normal person and I gained most of the weight back. I joined Jenny Craig and Nutrisystem. I would lose and gain and lose and gain. Always a yo yo.
When we got engaged, I was about a size 8. I think that is where I should be, a size 8. In 1992, I had our first child Amanda. I gained 60 pounds with that pregnancy. Post delivery, I joined Weight Watchers for the first time. I lost most of the weight from my pregnancy. I would say I got down to a size 10. Then came my second pregnancy. I tried to control myself this time and managed to only gain 25 pounds. Post delivery, I joined WW again. I lost a ton of weight. I was back down to a size 2 again. I was obsessed, you know black and white. When Adam was 2, my marriage was falling apart and my father was diagnosed with lung cancer. I started to lose my will and desire and gained all the weight back, and then some. Back up to a size 12. I can't really remember the next couple of years. I got divorced and my father died, with my in my house alone. I went through a period of time when I suffered PTSD. It was a tough time. I was heavy. Out of control. I decided to take my life back and get healthy. I started out to do a cleanse. I decided to only eat raw fruits and vegetables. You know I have mentioned that I am extreme. I do not do things lightly. I lost about 50 pounds and I was back down to a size 2. I was an exercise freak. 2-3 hours a day. But as the yo you queen, I couldn't keep it off. This time, it was injuries that side lined me. I have this thing about me that if I can't do it all, then I can't do it at all. It is bad. I got plantar faceitis in my foot. Then my neck and arms started to hurt. I knew that I had 2 herniated disks in my neck for a long time. But my extreme exercise had made it much worse. I had to stop working out. I also started a new job. A job where I sit behind a desk alllllll day every day. I didn't make time to exercise or to eat healthy. I gained it all back and now I am a size 12 again.
I recently had spinal/neck surgery to correct 3 herniated disks in my neck. It was a major surgery. I have been limited in the amount of exercise and mobility that I have been able to do. I know that, and yet I feel like I have used this as an excuse. In the meantime, right before the surgery, I feel down a flight of stairs and broke my ankle. It has not healed correctly and really hurts. It hurts more than my neck. As a matter of fact, my whole body hurts. I know that part of it is just being so inactive for so long. And I am miserable. I hurt all over. I am getting older and it is not good to be this sedentary. My cholesterol is high again. My doctor is worried about me. I look at pictures and it stresses me out. I am single and I don't want to be forever. But I am so insecure with the way that I look that I don't present myself to men. This crazy roller coaster has to stop. So that leads me to where I am now. A New Years Non New Years Resolution.
My goal is to control my extreme behavior. I do not need to be a size 2 again. That is not a place that I can stay. But, I do need to FEEL better both physically and emotionally. I don't want to be trapped. So, I am joining this blog friendly world for support. I am taking baby steps. If you are reading this, the one thing that you can do for me is to remind me to keep taking the baby steps. NO EXTREME BEHAVIOR. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. So for today here are my goals.
1. Start physical therapy and start getting strength.
2. 30 minutes of cardio 3 days a week. I was given a year long membership to 24 hour fitness right around the corner from my house. I will go this week and get a tour and learn about the equipment.
3. Drink water.
4. Journal
5. Eat healthy. Not extreme
ONE DAY AT A TIME. Slow and steady wins the race. I can use all the support I can get.
When we got engaged, I was about a size 8. I think that is where I should be, a size 8. In 1992, I had our first child Amanda. I gained 60 pounds with that pregnancy. Post delivery, I joined Weight Watchers for the first time. I lost most of the weight from my pregnancy. I would say I got down to a size 10. Then came my second pregnancy. I tried to control myself this time and managed to only gain 25 pounds. Post delivery, I joined WW again. I lost a ton of weight. I was back down to a size 2 again. I was obsessed, you know black and white. When Adam was 2, my marriage was falling apart and my father was diagnosed with lung cancer. I started to lose my will and desire and gained all the weight back, and then some. Back up to a size 12. I can't really remember the next couple of years. I got divorced and my father died, with my in my house alone. I went through a period of time when I suffered PTSD. It was a tough time. I was heavy. Out of control. I decided to take my life back and get healthy. I started out to do a cleanse. I decided to only eat raw fruits and vegetables. You know I have mentioned that I am extreme. I do not do things lightly. I lost about 50 pounds and I was back down to a size 2. I was an exercise freak. 2-3 hours a day. But as the yo you queen, I couldn't keep it off. This time, it was injuries that side lined me. I have this thing about me that if I can't do it all, then I can't do it at all. It is bad. I got plantar faceitis in my foot. Then my neck and arms started to hurt. I knew that I had 2 herniated disks in my neck for a long time. But my extreme exercise had made it much worse. I had to stop working out. I also started a new job. A job where I sit behind a desk alllllll day every day. I didn't make time to exercise or to eat healthy. I gained it all back and now I am a size 12 again.
I recently had spinal/neck surgery to correct 3 herniated disks in my neck. It was a major surgery. I have been limited in the amount of exercise and mobility that I have been able to do. I know that, and yet I feel like I have used this as an excuse. In the meantime, right before the surgery, I feel down a flight of stairs and broke my ankle. It has not healed correctly and really hurts. It hurts more than my neck. As a matter of fact, my whole body hurts. I know that part of it is just being so inactive for so long. And I am miserable. I hurt all over. I am getting older and it is not good to be this sedentary. My cholesterol is high again. My doctor is worried about me. I look at pictures and it stresses me out. I am single and I don't want to be forever. But I am so insecure with the way that I look that I don't present myself to men. This crazy roller coaster has to stop. So that leads me to where I am now. A New Years Non New Years Resolution.
My goal is to control my extreme behavior. I do not need to be a size 2 again. That is not a place that I can stay. But, I do need to FEEL better both physically and emotionally. I don't want to be trapped. So, I am joining this blog friendly world for support. I am taking baby steps. If you are reading this, the one thing that you can do for me is to remind me to keep taking the baby steps. NO EXTREME BEHAVIOR. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. So for today here are my goals.
1. Start physical therapy and start getting strength.
2. 30 minutes of cardio 3 days a week. I was given a year long membership to 24 hour fitness right around the corner from my house. I will go this week and get a tour and learn about the equipment.
3. Drink water.
4. Journal
5. Eat healthy. Not extreme
ONE DAY AT A TIME. Slow and steady wins the race. I can use all the support I can get.
This was the last time I was skinny!!!
I was so healthy!!!
My sister and me last month in Mexico. I am on the left
If you are at all interested, I blogged about my last weight loss in May 2008. You can read about it if you want.
1 comments:
You can do it! I know it's so hard...but look at it right now as a month challenge instead of anything beyond that. The hope is that we all might be behaving differently in a month's time.
Thanks for sharing your story! I'll trade you for your size 12!!!!! hehehe
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